New Station 1 – $5 million
New Station 3 – $3 million
New Station 4 – $4 million

Having to carry jugs of extra hydraulic fluid because your reserve ladder truck leaks and won’t be fixed. PRICELESS

I know we could go on all day long…well that isn’t such a bad idea. Anyone else have a better one?

Seriously though, it was overheard on the radio the other day that Ladder 1′s crew which is driving the reserve ladder has to carry jugs of extra hydraulic fluid because the cylinders that lift the ladder are leaking very bad.

You know that the budget cuts have occurred and will happen again, yet there are still non-operational programs being funded.

Anyways, happy turkey day. There is a lot to be Thankful for. God Bless you all.

Station # 8 has its own t-shirt. All three shifts offered ideas about the design of the shirt.

The art work is by Lieutenant Jim Hylton. We felt the images should reflect the community we serve. The front has the small Maltese cross we use on our department shirts, but the inside of the cross has a picture of two wine glasses and a rose. Yup, South Roanoke is the land of wine and roses.
There is a very strong sense of community here. The people are very nice to us.
The words, “South Roanoke Fire Station” are on the east side of the building (not on the shirt).
The picture on the back of the shirt is hand drawn of Engine # 8 in front of the station.
The Star is in the background.
The caption says, “Serving South Roanoke Since 1929.”
If you look close, you will see the white squirrel “Lola” in the lower left side of the picture.
Lola was a popular community figure here for several years until she passed a couple months ago.
The shirts are limited edition. We’re not really trying to sell them, but if you want one, contact Jarrod Fuhrman at “First Due Fire EMS Gear” or ask one of the guys at # 8.
We paid more for them because we wanted shirts that were made in the USA.

What about Medic 8?
Yes, there is talk of putting a medic truck here at # 8.
How can I get assigned to Medic 8 you ask?
If you are interested in being assigned to South Roanoke, please answer the following questionnaire and send it to the Medic 8 Application Committee here at station 8. The application process will be both demanding and vigorous. Bribes will be accepted. Please answer the following questions;

Medic 8 Application Questionnaire

1. What is the difference between a Chardonnay and Beaujolais?
a. A Chardonnay is a white wine and Beaujolais is a Hungarian car.
b. A Chardonnay is a brand of faucet and Beaujolais is Buddhist cheese.
c. Chardonnay is a white wine and Beaujolais is a dry red wine.
d. Chardonnay is a punk band; Beaujolais is a town in Canada.

2. What type of water do we keep in the booster tank on the Engine?
a. tonic
b. spring
c. mineral
d. sparkling
3. If you have a call for a fire in the butler’s pantry, what is the primary concern of the homeowner?
a. dinner
b. the fire
c. that we may track up the carpet
d. the butler

4. To what level are we accredited?
a. locally
b. nationally
c. internationally
d. intergallactically (only at number 8)

5. Which station has a swimming pool in the basement?
a. Station # 1, in the bay where they dug it up
b. Station #5, turn left five times, back in
c. Station #8, spring fed
d. Station #2, don’t mind the asbestos

6. Where the meals are big, the kitchen is small, and there are 2 dishwashers on every shift describes which station?
a. Station #1, sorry, it’s not about you
b. Station #5, circle the block again
c. Station #8, the Texas Tavern kitchen of South Roanoke
d. Station #2, could it be?

7. To what station does a chief go to become a captain?
a. Station #1, sorry it’s still not about you
b. Station #5, keep circling
c. Station #8, uh
d. Station #2, two what; rabbits

8. What level of EMS certification is required to ride M-8?
a. I don’t want to ride the box
b. I don’t want to be an “i”
c. I don’t care
d. What’s a box?

9. What level of fire performance standards must I maintain?
a. the same as the rest of the department
b. none
c. more than the rest of the department
d. Will we eat well?

10. The term Division of Labor means;
a. Assignments on the fire ground
b. Laborers doing math
c. Laborers choosing sides
d. Who does the steaks on the grill, who does the potatoes and who makes the salad

11. Which station has an Oshkosh kid with money upstairs?
a. Station #1; why do you always think it’s about you?
b. Station #5; one word, NASCAR; thank you for playing
c. Station #8
d. Station #2

12. Which station has a ghost that walks the bedroom floor at night?
a. Station #8, the phantom
b. Station #1, no, you’re haunted in daylight
c. Station #5, ok they have one too
d. Station #2; no, Trussler exorcised theirs

13. What will be the future name of station # 8?
a. Carillion Clinic Emergency Services
b. Famous Anthony’s Hot Meals on Hot Wheels delivery
c. South Roanoke Cat Rescue
d. South Roanoke Covert Ops

14. What is another name for German white wine?
a. Gustofrauääghier
b. Milk of the Virgin
c. Rhinelűnd Splattze
d. Roger Manuel

15. What is the coefficient for calculating gpm in a solid bore orifice?
a. What is an orifice?
b. GPM = BTU’s; darn* it (Terry knows)
c. GPM = 29.7 x d² x √NP
d. GPM = 1.57 x d² x √NP

16. Asian Toasted Sesame refers to which of the following:
a. Candles
b. Potpourri
c. Roger Manuel’s aftershave
d. Salad Dressing

17. Why do you want this assignment
a. To meet Kent McIlhany
b. To find my happy place
c. To better myself
d. To ascend to a higher level of Zen conscientiousness

18. How many CFM of air is displaced by a 1 ¾” fog nozzle performing hydra-ventilation?
a. 15-18,000 cfm
b. 20-23,000 cfm
c. 32-35,000 cfm
d. Ben Sweeney

19. What makes us perform best on the fireground?
a. Music by ZZ Top
b. Music by Led Zeppelin
c. Brian Wray
d. Catch phrases on city email

20. Who is the best Firefighter in Roanoke today?
a. Shane Duncan
b. Snoopy
c. Lloyd Layman
d. Sister Teresa

21. What Firefighter has been assigned to # 8 the most?
a. Rocky Sink
b. Jerry Thompson
c. Christina Aguilera
d. Ray-Ray

Check this pigeon out that landed (I assume) on Scott Boone’s head. Videos below.

Fireman Jake vs Policeman Perry Part 9

Thanks for the heads up by the anonymous commenter on the new video.

I can see it now. In an effort to ensure response times and to make sure not to be proven wrong after making cuts that he said will not change a thing, the Fire Chief and others beat the streets to stop traffic to get the fire apparatus to calls on time.

Here is a look into the future.

And of course we have to talk about the increase in fees. More than likely, we don’t have enough firefighters to adequately attack a highrise fire. Furthermore, we are becoming a fee for service department. Therefore I give you a view of our department in the future…again. Enjoy.

Here is part 7. Short and sweet….Reading is Fundamental.

Hey all,

Amidst one of the worst weeks of my life, I managed to enjoy the phone calls and comments related to the Blog coming to an end. After all, it was April 1st. Some of you all got it right away, others it was a little tougher. The best phone call was someone calling to complain about it, then the next day realizing it was April 1st the day before, calling me to admit I had got him. He even said that he was frantic in trying to think of someone else to take over the blog.

I had a “Cowboy” Captain call up and bitch me out about it, only to realize it was April 1st at the end of his sentence and promptly say something like “Oh I get it, April Fools you asshole” – I don’t even think I got a word out of my mouth. Damn did I get him good. His guys called to tell me how pissed off he was.

Others just told me of firefighters who thought it was BS that I stopped the blog. However, several of you saw right through it.

I must say that my April Fools joke got a lot more mileage than I imagined it would. I will be back to work tomorrow, still homeless after having trouble closing on our new house. Tomorrow, I think I will try some new pump training, courtesy of C.J. Schaffer (Salem Fire Department):

This collection of videos is hilarious. Check them out. If you are on a City Computer, you will not be able to watch them at work. Proof that Firefighters are sooo much better than Cops. Enjoy

You can even visit the website here:
And order shirts here

Part 1-3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Eventually, everyone gets there name on the blog. Some for more heroic or meaningful reasons than others. Today at Station 10, a couple of the newer firefighters learned an important lesson about Old Glory. Station 10 does not have a light on the flag and it is the newest firefighters role to raise the flag in the morning and lower it in the evening. Today, Old Glory was forgotten about until Captain Flora noticed. He immediately summonsed the firefighters who’s duty it is to lower the flag and fold it. They were given a little lesson in proper etiquette. Below is Firefighter White and Firefighter McDonald saluting the flag before bringing it in for the night. Thanks to Captain Flora for the photos.

Captain Chuck Swecker might have the stature of Superman, but I am not sure that he is the Man of Steel. This picture was sent in by his brothers on A-Shift. Captain Swecker is currently assigned to Firehouse 5 on A-Shift.

Black Crow Terrorist Policy
January 27, 2008

It is the policy of the Black Crows to respond vigorously to all terrorist attacks at our station and to our members as well as our mascots. The Black Crows regard all such terrorism as a potential threat to station security as well as a criminal act and will apply all appropriate means to combat it. In doing so, the Black Crows shall pursue vigorously efforts to deter and preempt, apprehend individuals who perpetrate such acts.

January 18, 2008 our founding symbol of pride was brutally abducted by terrorist. Information from underground sources have revealed that he has been tortured and has made the ultimate sacrifice. Although he will be missed, other Black Crows within his family have proudly stepped up into his place and took over his duties.

It is the policy of the Black Crows not to make concessions to terrorist, therefore if any member is lost in action they will be held up and given the highest honors.

The only request the Black Crows will make is that all remains whether human or plastic be returned to receive these said honors and a hero’s burial.

Humor is the best medicine. Therefore, I give you a goof up. Apparently someone messed up when ordering or making these rulers by misspelling the word PRACTICE . They incorecctly spelled it PRATICE. I guess it is the thought that counts. Don’t worry. Everyone makes mistakes, just sit back and laugh because this is funny.

This video is great. Maybe the guys at 10 should try this…kidding.

I received this via email this morning:

I wanted to give you a little update on the kid-napping incident you posted about earlier last week. By now, or at least after now, the culprits will be revealed so a little explaining should follow. It all started with a kid-napping at station # 9-C. Our beloved and now well known door bell (or “BING-BONG” as we call it ) was not only kid-napped but held ransom by some mean looking characters wearing turbans. A note was received demanding money and on mere Firefighter salaries, we knew the door bell was surely doomed. Quick goat thinking led us down the path of prisoner exchange vs. paying a high ransom. Some easy detective work revealed enough clues from the ransom picture to let us know where to strike and the result was the missing crow. Threats were made, our own ransom note delivered and an exchange location planned. Never to be out done, and knowing we were playing with professionals, we knew that we had better have a “back up” plan so, a hostage recovery team was deployed. Lucky for us and our “BING-BONG”, the assault went off flawlessly. Now, we were faced with a dilemma. Our loved door bell was now safely home, but what about the boys at # 5 ? Were they to suffer over the loss of their Ghetto Crow because of one bad decision? Should we keep both the Crow and our door bell and simply sit and bask in the glory? I’m sure you can tell, the upcoming decision would not be an easy one.

In the mean time, to make up for the torture and interrogation the crow was subjected to, we decided to show him some of the better end of living that we have here in the higher end of Northwest before sending him home. He had already seen some aspects of higher living as evidenced by his worldly travel post the kid-napping. Not to skimp, we scheduled yet another out of town trip to a ski resort in West Va. We cleaned the little lice laden apple eater up and loaded the vehicle for a day of fun in the snow. He seemed to really enjoy the trip and even posed for a few pictures (1 I have included). Everyone should be pleased to know that the little fella will be safely back at his home this evening (although I do think he’s starting to like it here more and more each day… all the travel and cultural experiences etc.) We can only hope that this little capped crusader of the ghetto will be better taken care of in the future and never fall subject to such shenanigans again.

If you didn’t already know, Engine 5 is (was) adorned with a crow on the truck. That crow has been on the truck for a pretty long time. It just kind of became part of the truck after a while. One time it was lost, and a couple of weeks later the crew found it on the side of the road and reattached it to the truck.

The crow has been kidnapped. I understand that there has been a ransom note delivered to #5. As you can see, the crow has made a pretty decent trip around the World already. Who knows where the crow will end up in the future?

Below are all of the Christmas Jingles which were sent in. Check them out and let me know what you think…

Anonymous sent in this gem:
Jingle Bells all the way.
Horses eat hay.
What do you want me to say.
Some firefighers were born in May.
The tones go off and we say OK.
In the middle of the night or day.
Some cats have homes, some are stray.
Some go to church and pray.
Pepsi has a nice display.
Food is sometimes served on a tray.
Kids like to go outside and play.

CountryDew - A fellow blogger and the wife of a firefighter sent this one in. Visit her blog here:
The Wife Before Christmas

The night before Christmas, a dear holy hour
I sit with a brandy in front of the fire.
Alone with our child tucked asleep down the hall
and the man that I love has gone out on a call.

He's a fireman, you see, and when sirens blast
He rushes to help, to bring hope to you fast.
Through smoke, in the ice, in hard driving rain,
He offers assistance and helps folks in pain.

No though for himself, he offers a hand,
No matter the season or what we had planned.
I just let him go, see him off with a kiss
and try not to worry about what he will miss -

Baby's first step, or her eyes all alight
When she sees what Ol' Santa leaves her tonight.
I pray for his safety, that he comes back to me
That he not be in danger is my nightly plea.

He's my whole life, I give him all that I can.
He's one of the finest - he's a fireman.

-- CountryDew

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasnt fuzzy was he.

Oompah oompah oompidy doo,
I have got a puzzle for you.

I sit home in the middle of the night,
My father yells what you gonna do with your life.
Oh daddy please you know your still number one,
Girls…they wanna have fun.
Thats all they really waaaa-aant.
Oh girls they just wanna have fun.

Big Trav sent in:
Twas the night before Christmas and through the fire house not a creature was stirring except #2’s mouse. The Firefighters all snuggled all down in their beds with dreams of their families held tight in their heads. Their boots right beside them their coats hung on the engine with care, to make sure they get it on quick if they have to go anywhere. A short silent prayer for a run free nights sleep, to have enough energy with their families to be, awake and alert and not miss a thing, to be wide eyed and waiting to see what Santa brings.
For a few of the bravest it’s their first Christmas with chaps they don’t want to miss it while taking a nap. Others we know have been with their chaps before and look forward to that smile when they come through the door. Some of the bravest don’t have chaps of their own but still look forward to a love that is waiting at home and some have had several but their off and grown and may stop by later with chaps of their own.
When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter we all jump out of bed engine, medic, and ladder and wait with our feet in our boots to hear what is the matter. We wait on the dispatch to give us the news’ alarm coming in, now we’ve got to move. Control relays the call and it’s just an alarm, thank goodness this time no body is harmed. We will go back to bed and of family still dream and again pray that’s the last time the alarm bells will ring.
Remember now bravest as you finish this night, in a few more hours with the suns first light, the next shift will be in and you can go home to be with the family you missed all day long. So take just a minute and remember those folks, who have taken your place so you could go home.
Remember the soldiers who are so far from home who fight for our freedom so we don’t have to roam who won’t see their husbands, their wives or their chaps and won’t get a big dinner and definitely no nap. The will stand at a post maybe even alone and spend Christmas day thousands of miles from home. God bless them and keep them and bring them home safe I hope this is the last Christmas they have to spend in that place.

Merry Christmas to all my Brothers and Sisters and the US Armed forces wherever you may be God bless you all!
Lt. Travis A .Simmons
“Big Trav”
Roanoke Fire EMS
Station 2A “The ZOO”

Hey guys, in the spirit of Christmas I thought we would have a little competition. Lets see who can come up with the best Christmas jingle. It can be a poem, carol, jingle, or whatever. Simply write an original with something to do with firefighting, EMS, our department, or Roanoke in general and send it in. I will publish all of them. They can be anonymous if you like. Get them in by Sunday and I will publish them. You can email them to me, or just post it as a comment to this post. I will in turn, post it on Sunday night. We all know there are some poets among us. Try and keep it as professional as possible!

In the spirit of Christmas Carols…I give you Achmed the Dead Terrorist singing Jingle Bombs…Silence. I Killllll Youuuuu. This guy is hilarious.

Sent in by Station 6 A-Shift.

With the arrival of FF/Dr. to be George Harris at Station 6-A Shift, Station 6 personnel thought it would be nice to make George feel as at home as possible. Realizing that George has gotten used to the fancy Pierce Quantum assigned to Engine 1, Station 6 personnel thought that retrofitting 6 Engine with a step like the Quantum’s folding step would reduce the risk of injury to George as well as help to make him feel at home. With no money allotted for the upgrade, the station 6 crew had to make this step a manual pull-down model rather than the air-actuated model on the Quantum. Welcome to Station 6 George! Good luck on your Dr.’s test!

Now that is funny!!!